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August 27th, 2009 2:18pm ] |
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I once read this book, there is a thought that
we are not real, everything is flux.
I panicked
The thought of whatever that happens to me are all untrue freaks me out
And i pondered.
and this paradox came up in my head
Our deeds are material things
But they will be gone.
What really lingers on and have its presences in the future,
are not the actions.
It is the memory and the feeling.
They are real as much as they are intangible.
So perhaps, perhaps, i am not real.
I am a fluid concept. I change.
The me that i am today might not be the me i am tomorrow. Therefore the me i am today is not real.
Tomorrow, the me i was yesterday not longer exist.
So i am not real.
But my feelings and memories are still here.
And they are the only things which make me real.
Maybe that is why people who are stripped of feelings waste their days away.
They lost their feelings and memory which makes them.
Which is why i always feel.
Never stop loving.
Cause the day you stop, your heart dies.
And you cease to exist.
Life is short.
Make it count.
Make it real.
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June 30th, 2009 5:44pm ] |
I love making stuff for people. be it for bf, frens, cousin or anyone. made them using anything at all using, postcards, wrapping paper, old bracelet, keychains, ribbons, black paper, knitting, leaves, wall paper, styrofoam etc. i have no clear plan in mind what the final product looks like and it just materialise in the process of making. wesley have his fair share of it and we took pictures of them.               
In chronological order. |
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June 24th, 2009 3:39am ] |
my mom and i went shopping for my working clothes, courtesy of my dad. manage to get 3 skirt, 1 cardigan, 2 blouse and 4 basic spag and 1 pair of black heels. i ordered 2 online clothes, a dress and a top i should be all set for work! my mom wanted to give me her old watch which was a gift from my dad i wore that watch to my interview and the latch broke plus it wasnt working so my mom bought it out to replace the latch as well as put in new batteries. unfortunately, the watch was beyond repair and my mom was really sweet to get me a new watch! i was deciding between  and  the difference btwn the stainless and the leather one is $25. I personally prefer the leather over the stainless though i like both alot. and since my mom was paying i ask her to decide for me. Guess which she choose? :p and a very belated post about my first visit to the singapore flyer where wesley bought me there the day after i finish my exams as a celebrationi dunno how being stuck in a confined and slow moving box is equatable to celebratory? lol but it is the thought that counts. *yawn* kidding wesley :)    On a completely off and irrelevant note, i saw this picture and i was immediately reminded of my cousin lynda who had the same shirt before! Do u remember this shirt lynda? or ur selective memory is working up again? :p 
Born to be wild :) |
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June 17th, 2009 9:57am ] |
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Went for my first interview yesterday at OCBC.
What i thot to be a one round interview turns out to be four rounds instead.
Was totally beat by the time they are done with me.
I manage to get the job and starting work next monday.
Hopefully things go well and that i am able to perform.
I will never be able to get this far without encouragement from my friends and especially wesley,
who gave me more then support. His knowledge was impertinent here :)
Thank you baby!
Best wishes for me on my job okie?
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May 26th, 2009 8:50am ] |
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2 months after my birthday is the end of my exam.
Correction. Last exam paper.
I am freaking god damn happy when i finally pen down the last word.
Hopefully my papers went well and that i graduate next year :)
Now for the next journey..to get a job.
But first, thinking of going for a get away.
wonder whether my dad will sponsor me.
haha.. we will see.
Anyway wendy, congrats to landing a job in HDB henceforth securing a stable paycheck!
Hooray for freedom!
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[
May 15th, 2009 5:41am ] |
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omg omg omg omg
exams in 3 hrs time
i cannot sleep at all!
omg omg omg
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[
March 25th, 2009 11:50pm ] |
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i am a person that rises to the occasions.
that reacts to situations suitably.
and lastly,
i think i am a person that treats people the way they deserve to be treated on my judgement.
not going to deny anything, today is my birthday.
and it should be the happiest day.
but i am pretty sour and sad.
I am thankful Wesley spend time with me and makes me feel like a million buck.
I am thankful Shin drop me a sweet sms to let me know she rmbs me.
Thankful to aunt brenda for the birthday note
I dont care for fancy gifts.
dont care for a loud call out to let others know that i am remembered.
All i care about is that i am a person YOU care.
Sadly, those whom i extend the courtesy and thoughts to in their needy times and birthdays,
those whom i spent hours making presents and planning their parties, buying their gifts,
those that i smsed at the stroke of midnight to let them know that i think of them and they are special to me
seems to forgot i exists.
every thing i do carries the weight of my words, that i care
that i do treasure you
but they seem to gone to ashes
Such friends.
Such families.
Sure makes growing up alot easier.
my bitterness will wear away.
but not at this moment.
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January 8th, 2009 4:30am ] |
Well everyone, happy 2009 :) i have many wishes for this new year but the one that i hope be taken seriously will be that i get a job that i enjoy. I am one of those people who have no idea what they want to do. It is not because i have no drive but rather because i am afraid. People might not know but i once got through Ngee ann poly mass com interview to enter the school of media and communications. But i choose the JC route. Something which i regret deeply and blames no one for it. My uni life is a blur cause i felt like i really am in the wrong course. It is a miracle i manage to pass my exams. finally i am able to move on. I wish to pursue my dreams which i abandoned when i was 16. John lennon once said
"You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one, I hope someday you will join us, and the world will live as one." but i am so scare. I have no experience no portfolio no nothing. I might not even be talented. i like talking to people, i like making handicraft stuff and i think i have an eye and a lil gift for art. but life is harsh and it might be just what i think. besides the media route is a hard one to go. Perhaps the pursue of dreams is like love. Letting go and leap, not knowing whether u will fly. some of my friends think i am a nazi for art whereas other friends think i am pretty okie. it is really hard when ur friends put u down saying u are not talented in the things u think u are when they never even see what u are capable of. anyways. i love this person's work, she is an amazing illustrator http://www.garancedore.fr/en/   encapsulated by her work, i decide to give it a try. It is my first time doing fashion illustration with no background knowledge. i feel pretty proud of myself for daring to venture into the unknown. maybe this is a first time. small but first - of not staying in the known. isnt it enticing not to know what might come?          BTW happy anniversary wesley ng. hope we can be happy always :)  |
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December 20th, 2008 12:02am ] |
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According to your age, list down the number of things that most people don’t know about you. And then tag 5 people
1. I was a prefect in primary school
2. And i threw my prefect tie into the dustbin as an act of rebellion
3.I really like to read (anything like books, mags etc ANYTHING except schoolwork) a lot
4. I think i can design pretty well
5. I really like my teddy bear nose thou it is big
6. my eyelids are uneven and i hate that
7. I fainted 7 times. Yeah. 7 times
(OBS, Chingay , piercing my tongue, 4 times taking my blood for tests)
8. I was on local news for 3 days cause i fainted during Chingay and i was the second most exciting news in that progression.
9. The news of me fainting was reporting after a fallen tree during Chingay . My life pales in comparison to a tree. Thanks.
10. and oh. i fainted in Chingay cause a guy kicks me in the head. awesome.
11. i shitted outide Cityhall MRT station's toilet door.
12. did i mention it was 12 midnight when i shit and my date can hear me shitting?
13. And i had to use a plastic bag as a toilet bowl cause the toilet was closed.
14. I fell into a Kelong and cried when my uncle pulled me up cause my brother ask whether i saw a mermaid.
15. I am together with a guy whom i thought i broke up for good.
16. When i was little, i will go to my parents room and ask them to kiss all over my face cause i think it will ward off ghosts.
17. I used to think that there is a camcorder everywhere. The TV shows we are watching is someone's everyday life.
18. I thought english and chinese names comes in a fixed pair. For etc, if uyour english name is Jeremy, your chinese name MUST be Ting Wei. If your english name is Jenny, your chinese name must be man qing.
19. my IQ is 127 (i took the test in Facebook)
20. i really really want a dog. Since young till now.
21.i still dunno what does tagging means
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December 10th, 2008 1:30am ] |
Giving is really more enjoyable then taking. The mini surprise i put together for our youngest babe? is awesome. It is awesome. I love the rush and hassle cause it is all worth it. Dinner at Brewerkz with many surprise for the little one. i hope u enjoy it :) Joanne and me, i miss her so. Good luck for ur acca test!   one of the many candid moments  Jenny with her signature closed eyes -_- 
one of us have difficulty climbing up. wonder who?
 Friends Forever :) 
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December 9th, 2008 1:34am ] |
i always have this theory which is that people hate to appear free so not to appear pathetic.
I just don't get it. Why is so wrong to be free? I love being available all e time.
Being free doesn't make me less fun or less amiable or less attractive. It also doesn't make me more boring, more desperate or more ugly.
I have a friend who is genuinely busy.
So busy that we plan our schedule around her, even a friend's birthday.
But when she gets too busy to appreciate or just is too sick to do so, i wonder to myself. Is she a friend? Or a non friend.
High school drama. Uncalled for.
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November 29th, 2008 3:13am ] |
Why the obsession with branded?
why lie?
Why did i find out?
damn
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November 18th, 2008 5:50pm ] |
The other night, we almost watch "The Coffin" at 130am with just another couple in e entire cinema. But i chicken-ed out and choose madgadascar 2 instead.
The weather has been pretty dowdy of late and melancholy caught me. I often find myself wistful at times.
I had a pretty damn good chicken katsu curry at waraku's ladies night with my female family members. It was really fun and e laughters washed away abit of my Tim Burton mood. I really hope my cousins and i can uphold e tradition of meeting up ever so often.
I missed my friends but i just feel like staying at home. Thank god for sms and msn and email. It will not beat e real thing but at least it conveys some emotions however minimal and technical.
One thing that i'm really pleased of late is with my tuition kid. He up a notch for e subjects that i was paid to teach. :)
Ciao.
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[
October 8th, 2008 5:46am ] |
you know what they say about fairy tales? How cinderella found her prince? That e frog prince got his kiss?
I believed it all.
Two years i lived it.
Happy anniversary :)
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October 2nd, 2008 4:11am ] |
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fear
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September 17th, 2008 5:14am ] |
it's 5am and my lessons're like 3 hours away. Tick tock.
Initially, i was pretty excited bout school but now that it's materializing, i dread it. I don't want to feel lonely and detacted but i guess i earn it for e past 2 years.
This year will be different.
Looking through blogs, do u sometimes feel sad that u are not part of anyone's life or of importance to anyone? I'm not saying that blogs mirror realities. It's definately a subset though an inaccurate representation at times. But absence is absence. There's no error in that.
The grounds where i felt needed and loved with absolute disdain of my absence are wesley and my family. I feel thankful that i've them to fall back on. They's like an unwaivering root that gives me shelter and holds me close when all else fails.
E ones u need doesn't need u and e ones u neglects love you with no agenda or hope that it's reciprocated. I should bask in their warmth while i can and forget about those that are not meant to be. Reciprocity is not a way of life thou many believe in kharma. It's e unbalanced equilibrium that settles e delicate flow of life which got u thinking "isn't life an irony"
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August 29th, 2008 7:31am ] |
Been some time since i updated. Not really busy but rather plain lazy so this time, i put in some effort for the update. Rach sorry i took some of your college cause i dun have the pics and even if i have, i dun think i can make 4 college at one go. Share share k? haha buying presents for the birthday babes Minds cafe outing birthday pictures Uncle's bday pictures let me know if the file size are too big! Ciao! |
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July 26th, 2008 1:10am ] |
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I always have friends around me but i never failed to feel so alone, ever get that feeling?
I once thot i was a member of the group only to find out years later that, i was an idiot to have thought that.
Initially i ponder like, what is wrong with me? why don't they like me.
Gradually, i take it that we are schoolmates but wouldnt hang out for coffee sessions.
So I took solace in the company of friends.
The best that i can ever wish for.
The ones that eats with me every recess break.
The ones that stares into the pond with me.
Those whom i can just talk with all day long.
Those whom i call when i am down.
Those that i get mad at and felt sorry i was mad.
Down the road, will i still see you?
Or will u just be a fragment of my failing memories?
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July 7th, 2008 4:15am ] |
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one of my friend is having a baby in a matter of days
i am so happy for her :)
See you on ur daughter's one month bday bash yup!
on another note
i just had the best sex ever!
in this pair of shoes! haha
it is a freaking 5 inches so donning it put me somewhere ... near skyline scapers.
If u watch sex and the city,
u will know that the former really just refers to carrie's manolo blahnik's and choo's
i got this pair of gladiator flats and hopefully, i look passable in them.
My birkens are trusty but boring.
I think i stop dressing up since i got hitched.
NOT GOOD!
PS* will pulling ur hair makes it grow faster? i am desperate!
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[
June 2nd, 2008 1:05pm ] |
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</div>
i craved for some excitement
that only exists in the past
and it is scary and tempting
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